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Poetry Fishbowl Open! - The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
Poetry Fishbowl Open!
107 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
marina_bonomi From: marina_bonomi Date: November 1st, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've a character in my mind, these days, but she's still a bit shy, I wonder if she'll whisper in your ear.

What I know: her name is Maryam, she is black and British, she is a steampunk engineer, either working in her lab or researching with her nose in a book and a notepad near her.
She's sharp as a surgeon's scalpel and has a great sense of humor.

I wonder what could have happened when she moved in her current residence, a typical middle-class neighborhood, would it have been a parade of automatons and steam-povered contraptions or...?
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 2nd, 2011 02:13 am (UTC) (Link)

Poem

What fun! The description of a black steampunk engineer turned into "The Steamsmith," a free-verse poem about how Maryam Smith moves into a quiet neighborhood, shocking the neighbors with her appearance, and eventually starts to win their tolerance.

Also, she's wearing men's clothing, I'm fairly sure she's bisexual, and she dragged a large jumble of complicated alchemical science into my office. And now I need to go find someone to britpick this before I release it.

73 lines, Buy It Now = $36.50
marina_bonomi From: marina_bonomi Date: November 2nd, 2011 09:01 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Poem

The only thing that jumps out at me in my private view copy is 'garage'. I'd suggest 'carriage house', 'coach house' (although that might be confusing, maybe) or 'remise', or even the oldish 'motor house'.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 2nd, 2011 04:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Poem

Thank you! I switched that to "carriage house."
marina_bonomi From: marina_bonomi Date: November 2nd, 2011 05:01 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Poem

My pleasure. By the way, I got this through another LJ friend, maybe it can be of interest: http://eyetothetelescope.com/submit.html
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 2nd, 2011 04:17 am (UTC) (Link)

Poem

And now there's another poem from the same setting, about "The Four Humours" and how they interact with steamworks.
janetmiles From: janetmiles Date: November 3rd, 2011 12:46 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Poem

Sponsoring this one.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: November 3rd, 2011 01:25 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Poem

Thank you! I have posted "The Four Humours" now.
107 comments or Leave a comment