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List of Unsold Poems from the December 7, 2010 Poetry Fishbowl - The Wordsmith's Forge
The Writing & Other Projects of Elizabeth Barrette
ysabetwordsmith
ysabetwordsmith
List of Unsold Poems from the December 7, 2010 Poetry Fishbowl
The following poems from the December 7, 2010 Poetry Fishbowl are currently available. They may be sponsored via PayPal, or you can write to me and discuss other methods.

"after the humans" -- 15 lines, $10 SOLD
Your first prompt became the title of a poem, "after the humans," a free-verse description of how the waters of the world respond to their new freedom. Envision a bunch of women tearing off all their clothes and running wild.

"
A Breath Upon the Waters" -- 42 lines, $20 SOLD
I love this extended exploration of aikido and water and energy. It just so happens that I have an urban fantasy story about a fellow who practices aikido, and an angel -- and the tone of the prompt matches the tone of the story. So "A Breath Upon the Waters" is kind of a behind-the-scenes look at how an angel and a saint go about changing the world with a very subtle touch. This poem is written in free verse with water imagery running all through it.

"Dreamskating" -- 20 lines, $10 DONATED
The prompt about Torn World sea monsters -- along with some descriptive bits from the story "An Irresistible Attraction" -- led to the poem "Dreamskating." It tells about the illegal dreamers' liquor and those who seek it. This poem is written in free verse, with a lot of sentences broken across lines and stanzas; it breaks the conventions of Southern Empire poetry and is meant to imply the work of unlicensed poets. Think cheap, backalley, quasi-legal dadaism.
EDIT 12/10/10: One of our Torn World members just passed away. I'm donating this poem for public viewing on the Torn World site, in memory of valdary.

"The Dragon-Queen of Pirates" -- 28 lines, $15
From this I got "The Dragon-Queen of Pirates," a free verse poem written in unrhymed quatrains. It tells of Lo Hon-Cho and fleet of pirates, and how she became a legend.

"Drop by Drop" -- 21 lines, $10
wyld_dandelyon expected to be offline today, so left me an early batch of prompts dealing with various manifestations of water. I stuffed them all into one poem, "Drop by Drop," which looks at the way water surrounds our lives. It's free verse, with a particular pattern to the number of lines per stanza.

"going to the ocean" -- This poem has already been sponsored but will not be released for a while, as it happens near the end of the story arc in the Origami Mage series.

"No Speck of Land" -- 32 lines, $15 SOLD Slated for Star*Line July 2011 issue
I combined the "endless sea" prompt with an earlier prompt from [info]fayanora about humans colonizing a waterworld with no land at all. The result is "No Speck of Land," a free-verse poem about the effects of living on a landless planet and how people begin to adjust to that.

"The Old Sow" -- 24 lines, $10
I do not think I would venture near in a boat to see her. From this prompt I got "The Old Sow," a free-verse poem about this giant whirlpool.

"Only Begotten Earth" -- 99 lines, $49.50
Still following the Sea of Galilee prompt, and the sort of things that Jesus might have said to the world, I got to thinking: What if the Earth allowed humans to torture it for the enlightenment of their souls? (After all, why should something with the massive power of a planet put up with the indignities perpetrated upon it by a bunch of jumped-up apes?) So that led to another free verse poem, "Only Begotten Earth," in which Jesus talks with the world about the challenges to come, asking the Earth to forgive humankind and have faith in their potential.

"The Stone and the Ocean" -- 34 lines, $15
I was still thinking about [info]minor_architect's prompt about Jesus and the Sea of Galilee when I came across yours about the strait of Gibraltar and liminal waters. The result is the free-verse poem "The Stone and the Ocean." It explores some ideas of places that are neither here nor their, figures who are both human and divine, waters that unite and divide.

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9 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
fayanora From: fayanora Date: December 9th, 2010 10:06 am (UTC) (Link)
So much awesomeness. I hope they all get sponsored.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 9th, 2010 07:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I appreciate the vote of confidence. So far, no fishbowl has completely sold out. Last month came close, though: out of 21 poems, I only had 4 left unsold. I will not be surprised if some month sells everything, eventually.
siege From: siege Date: December 10th, 2010 04:37 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

I'm going to be very candid and say that in my opinion, the quality of your work this month is a little bit down. That may be due to stress, or the less invigorating energies of winter, or it may be a blockage; but while your output is as good as ever, and your themes and ideas are fresh, your poetic patterns felt slightly stale. (This is, actually, one reason I don't produce a lot of poetry: what I do put out has to feel fresh to me on rereading, or I dislike it afterward.)

By way of suggestion, I'd like to note that when I was young, I thought that toasting bread made it go stale faster, instead of caramelizing the sugars, because both toast and stale bread are dry (and I didn't know what caramelization was). Perhaps "sweetening" some of your usual methods in a different way will help transform this energy into something fresher. Or at least it'll make good pudding. ;)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 10th, 2010 04:48 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

>>I'm going to be very candid and say that in my opinion, the quality of your work this month is a little bit down. <<

Counterpoint noted. (So far the feedback has been very enthusiastic.)

>>That may be due to stress, or the less invigorating energies of winter, or it may be a blockage; but while your output is as good as ever, and your themes and ideas are fresh, your poetic patterns felt slightly stale. <<

The only thing I can think of is that, working with this particular theme, some of the prompts dealt with well-established phrases. But that's theme and idea, not pattern. What were you thinking in the way of pattern? The form (mostly free verse this time)? The way the lines are laid out? The types of stories I tell in the poems that are narratives? Something else?

>>Perhaps "sweetening" some of your usual methods in a different way will help transform this energy into something fresher. <<

The poetry fishbowl has changed gradually over time, as people come up with new features to suggest. I think the latest one has been the addition of long lists of prompts from a few folks. Not sure what else I could try to shake things up a bit, but I'm open to ideas.
siege From: siege Date: December 10th, 2010 04:59 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

Thy syllabary overflown
Doth spill upon the page
Yet functionary throne
Doth my heart enflame

Thou in freedom wanderest,
Bright and fair thy steps-- yet weakened?
And here I pause, to ponder.

Why this, why here?

Freeform lines my favored style,
Yet so easily gone astray.
Perhaps practice must be,
For Carnegie only awaits
The practice of the practiced.
I forgive.

And thus the rigid form,
Tho' heavy seem its chains
Defines the irrigation
Which brings harvest to the plains.

--

I'm not so sure that it's the freeform style, as it is the freeform patterns which seem to mimic your other manners of writing. One must stir up one's puddings, sauces, and breads to break apart the starch nodules, but not too much lest gluten forms too fast; thus sufficient water must also be imparted (but again, not too much).
siege From: siege Date: December 10th, 2010 04:40 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

On the other hand, I do really enjoy your Christ-inspired poems; these particular mystic themes are ones you haven't explored as much, and they have simmered quite nicely into a very rich and flavorful broth.
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 10th, 2010 04:51 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Thank you!

Yeah, this is a whole new version of Jesus for me. (I have encountered various others before, some of which I also really like.) I'll have to keep this in mind for further exploration. A large part of the fun in a fishbowl is when people give me prompts that lead me in directions I wouldn't ordinarily go. Sometimes it's not a very comfortable fit, but other times I discover something that's a perfect match in an unexpected place.
the_vulture From: the_vulture Date: December 9th, 2010 12:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've put my tenner down. :)
ysabetwordsmith From: ysabetwordsmith Date: December 9th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

I have this noted and logged.
9 comments or Leave a comment